YES was My Answer.

Thursday. The twenty-fifth of September.
My (somewhat) favorite day of the week for having a not-so-"heavy"-schedule.

There was nothing different about this (my) day.
Nothing new. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing distinct.
Nothing at all.

Despite of the exhaustion I was feeling, caused by our two-hour swimming class followed by our Reading Longtest, I have managed to "survive" the rest of my day.

And one thing that marked it was the Personality Test we took during our Guidance Class, our last subject.
See, our teacher/counselor, told us that we were going to have this test, that she was going to ask us forty-two questions, and that we should answer it only with a YES ,or a NO, and honestly.

Started the test, it was only dictated.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Blah blah blah...

Then boom!
There was this one question she blurted out, that I took so long to answer whether I give it a (my) yes, or a (my) no.

"Do you keep your promises? Yes or no?"

I was still. I was reflecting, flashing back instances where promises were involved.
What were the kind of things I have promised anything with/to?
Have I kept those promises I have laid down? Or have I only failed and forgotten some(many?)?

I was thinking hard. The answer I was going to conclude was all for me. "This is a personality test!", I said to myself. Anything I was going to write there, would be giving benefit to ME, and only I. If I do not answer that (those) question(s) honestly, and lie since it only asked for a yes or a no, still I would be lying to myself.
That personality test was intended for us(me) to know ourselves(myself) better, to arrive to conclusions about ourselves(myself) that we(I) have no knowledge about way back; that there are still a LOT of things we(I) do not know about ourselves(myself). SO I HAVE TO REALLY ANSWER THIS HONESTLY. Okay.
What I did was, since I was already having confusions if I do or do not keep my promises, recalled the times I know I have offered(agreed to) promises, and thought if I have done(kept) those promises...

YES, was what I have written.

I (think I) know myself, maybe not enough or much of it, but I definitely do know something about myself likewise, in some matters.
I KEEP MY PROMISES, was the superior feeling I had.
Okay, I admit. Maybe not ALL the time, but most of it I do..
I KNOW I DO.


That personality test gave me a stun, otherwise, it was helpful for it gave me my own guide questions; to, from time to time, I could get a hold of myself and check. As if I could get to have my own "self-checklist".

We did not finish it though, the bell rang and it was time to pack up and go home.
Can't wait until next week!:)





-- And then I headed home. Still thinking.

Don't I?

You wake up everyday, because you have to.
You get ready for school. Take a bath. Dress up. Eat your breakfast. Then take off.

In school, you stit for long hours. Exemption to the one hour and a half break you get to have everyday.
You listen to lectures, jot down notes, stare at the blackboard, and criticize how boring the teacher is.

After school, you head home. You study, do your homeworks.
Then eat your dinner. Organize your things for tomorrow.
Go to bed, sleep.

After about five to eight hours of slumber, you wake up.. again.
Do the same things, again. Merely doing the same things you have done the day before, again.

Doing the same things all over again everyday.
Twelve months in a year. Fifty-two weeks all in all. Three-hundred and sixty-five days ahead. Twenty-four hours a day.
Sixty minutes per hour, and sixty seconds in one minute.

(But for those who go to school, like me, includes only ten months of this continuous repitition of actions. But of course, excluding the two "rest" days, where I think we don't have to wake up early to, but sometimes we also have to.)

Regardless, it is still all the same.

We do it everyday. I mean, EVERYDAY! In three hundred and sixty-five days of the year.

DON'T I (WE) GET TIRED?

As for me, I have been in this world for sixteen years; been breathing for three-hundred-and-sixty-five-times-sixteen days already. I have also been attending the same school for almost eleven years; The same uniform, the same place and environment, the same people I have been seeing everyday in my life.

Good thing I don't actually get to be "TIRED" of it?
Or rather, maybe it just amazes me of how, looking back, I have gone through how many years already doing the same things again and again everyday.

Or maybe, is it not unfair when you have to work really, really hard for the (kind of) life you did not even choose yourself?
That you have to do good on something you really do not want to be professional in?

---


Mathematics. Why do we, honestly, have to study (suffer from) very broad and complex math equations that will not actually be used in the REAL world, five days in a week.
I mean, six years in the elementary level (gradeschool) , four years in the secondary (high school), and another four in the tertiary (college), we are taught of things we actually don't need in REALITY.
Grade school Math is understandable. Adding. Subtracting. Multiplying. Dividing. For which we know, plays a very important role in (the) life (world). But what about higschool Mathematics, with those variable, coefficients and radicals. Imaginary numbers plus fractions with negative signs.
You don't actually buy stuffs, pay for [(x-4)(x-3)], and ask for 5[(2x-4)(2x+4)] change, is it not?

Okayy. Enough with the complains about the study of figures and numbers. UGH.


Science. Why did we have to come face to face (and fail) the study of bacteria, in which we, actually don't see!
Why do this "environment" would want us to learn about these mega-tiny creatures? In the first place, we would not be able to distinguish as well the kind of bacteria or whatsoever is infecting or taking place in poop, or dirty flooring etcetera, etcetera.


English. Okay, having been under the UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE, taking this up (and failing?) is very much accepted :))


Filipino. As a daughter of this archipelago, shall have, and is privileged to learn about my mother country :))



These major subjects I take up (and suffer from) everyday,
DON'T I GET TIRED OF THEM?



-- Okay. Enough. Bye. Goodnight.


But at some point, I do think that LIFE is actually FAIR :)
Because it is in God's and ONLY His plans.
Afterall, you may not be good on something others are great of.
BUT, there are also some things wherein you excel, that are actually the weaknesses of the rest of the crowd :)

.. And Yes.

Put me in a battle where I can be with someone who fights for me,
in a battle where I know someone wants to protect me.
Put me in a battle where I can feel someone else for me,
where I know someone wants to stay by my side.
Put me in the kind of battle where that one person would be willing to lose,
just so she/he could win me.
Put me in a battle where someone is willing to swallow pride and end the battle,
for my sake and so as not to hurt me even more.

Put me in a battle WITH someone who can tell me he/she loves me
amidst of the chaos around us.
Put me in a battle where this person can still appreciate me even if I fail,
in a battle where this person can still say, "I LOVE YOU" in the middle of
the suffering.
Put me in a battle with someone who noticed me when I fell,
not when I was in victory.
Put me in a battle with someone who, despite of the hardships,
bothers to hold my hand and tell me he/she would stay.
Put me in a battle where I know I can fail and stumble and destroy my face without being rejected.
Put me in a battle with someone who can hug me tight to make me feel safe.
Put me in a battle with someone who won't neglect me even if my weak side inferes.
Put me in the kind of battle where there are no wrong and right moves,
but those correctly incorrect.
Put me in a battle with someone who does not forget about me,
but with someone who does not even need to think just to remember my worth.
Put me in battle with someone I can hold on to when things get unwanted;
In a battle where someone, when I get wounded, would not worry about bandages and get them,
but worry about ME and what will happen if he/she goes and leave me to get those bandages.

Finally, put me in a battle with someone who will kiss me to calm me down,
to hug me to make me feel I still have great worth no matter what,
to hold my hand and would not let me go even through those dying moments,
to say "I LOVE YOU" in the middle of the war.

I want to be put in a battle with someone who would not promise me anything,
but would sincerely want to STAY and HOLD ON whatever happens.

Put me in a battle with someone who would not actually fight for me,
but with someone who fights it WITH me.

Put me in a battle with someone who would not care whether he/she wins or loses,
but with someone who, longs for still having me at the end of the fight,
regardless of the victory or defeat.
.. That even if he/she(we) loses(lose), what he/she cares about is if he/she still has me.



Fantasies. Keep dreaming.




*Right now, I have my own battle.
It may not be a(my) dream and perfect battle, but yes, it is a sweet kind.
And I am satisfied.

- I love you, my Sixteen <3

September 17, 2008 (St. Scho Marikina Bomb Threat) Pft.

It is the seventeenth of September, and it's late night, 10:51 to be exact..
I just, really, don't feel (rather like) this day.. Not at all.

See, it started with nothing extraordinary, nor anything positively unusual.
There was laughing out loud in our first hour subject though, Computer Class.
And a longtest on the second class, Language subject.
Library period after the first break, and another longtest in CLE class.

In the midst of thinking hard for that CLE longtest, the bell rang UNEXPECTEDLY.
I glanced at our wall clock to discover that it was actually fifteen minutes earlier than its usual time of ring. I actually thought for a second that it may be late, knowing that we are having particular practices and as usual, my classmates sometimes do set the time advanced to have my classmates arrive in our room on time.
Took a look at my OWN time, it REALLY did ring earlier than usual.. again, FIFTEEN minutes earlier.

Until there was someone on the other side of the PA System announcing, that we take our lunch early, and that afternoon classes will be called-off. It would not sound so terrifying if it was not because of the manner of how it was announced (who happened to be our Principal). With the term, "unwanted bad elements.."; that actually just made us curious about what was that calling off for classes all about. We asked our teacher. She asked us to calm down, to keep quiet, and she was going to explain it to us. Starting with, "I don't know if it's okay to tell you..". (We were like, uhh, so what is this all about huh?). Preceeded, "They.. received, a bomb threat.". Okay and then, sudden silence, with a little violent reaction of course. "Oh my god.", "Shiiiiit.". And I, honestly, had goosebumps and got worried, no kidding.

We were asked to leave the room, to take our lunch, AND leave ALL our things in the room the way it is except for the valuables (which I happened to ignore, leaving my wallet behind).

Astounded, I was worried up to my nerves. Upon reaching our eating area, I could hardly move. I was still. Blackened out. I could not manage to smile nor crack jokes.

The only thing that brought back my voice was when we were talking about this "bomb threat", and another issue that was said to be the cause of this alarm, a rumor about a junior student embodied by UN-earthly spirits. And that this junior student's request was the students leave their things. THAT ACTUALLY, found out happened to be untrue and worn out already. Soo, the cause was really this "bomb threat", I may say.

And then another bell was rung, announcing that all who brought their bags with them have it returned to the classrooms immediately. Meaning, we did not have any bags with us, no books nor school materials.
WE WERE ASKED TO GO HOME.
Remembering that I left my wallet in our room, I hurriedly rushed back to our building. And unfortunately, we could not anymore. NO STUDENTS WERE ALLOWED TO GO UPSTAIRS TO GET THEIR STUFFS, AND VALUABLES.

Students were actually freaking out. Some were crying, some really were worried as ever!
Even for the faculty. I saw teachers fetch their children from the Gradeschool department if they happen to have one or two or so. With their (our), weird look on their faces. Looks wherein you can really see the unstable and boggled emotions they (we) were feeling.

--- PANICKED.

Asked to go home, we proceeded to our exit gates. And one thing that irritated my bestfriend (and I), was the guard still asking for our IDs for exit, that actually happens to be color-coded for designated gates. In a time of emergency like that, you are going to halt a student to ask and check their ID?? WTH!
(Mr. Guard, I know you were doing your job, but not at the right time!) - per my bestfriend, Cath.

So we went home EMPTY-HANDED. Except for my ID strapped in my neck, and the G-Tec hung to it.

GOT HOME, still worried.
Texted my 'someone' to inform HER I'm home early, then narrated what happened.

- END OF THIS BOMB THREAT THING (It makes me sick. It was, actually.. irritating.) -



* Continuation on next post, of what happened to the rest of my day --->