Exasperation

I'm puzzled. I'm bugged, bothered.

For some reason I am not certain of, I feel so uneasy. The disturbance to my peace of mind gives me the effect of merely losing myself, rather, getting myself thrown in complete space. That for which I am clueless about, what seems to be the reason for this discomposure. I really dislike - despise - this kind of feeling. The feeling that can be described by something that cannot be described. This is the kind of indescribable feeling that does not even let you think of the possible words to fit the exact emotion. It's something I really do not like feeling, leaving me with a lot of questions that I don't even know how to answer, or how I would start finding the right descriptions to get it all right. It's like having a puzzle pad shaped like a cloud, but having puzzle pieces in hand that are actually intended to be shaped like a rose. See, no matter how I think of any reason how to resolve this feeling, I do not know what kind of comfort this uneasiness needs. It's as complicated as having the answers but not having the questions in hand. It's like having to do trial and error just to figure out what seems to be wrong, and what makes you feel that way. The last time I had this kind of sentiment was also the day I found myself watching in the movies alone, treating myself with some snacks I love, and jogging while listening to the songs I find very relaxing - alone. See, the outcome was very questionable. I was trying to do several activities, hoping that one of them can make me feel all better. But that's the one thing I have no idea about, the kind resolution I could give myself to make myself feel okay.

Is what I'm feeling just the effect of missing someone? Is it the aftermath of longing for something? Is it the outcome of being bored? Or just plainly the result of something I regret?

I DON'T KNOW.